Hello everyone. One of the main reasons I wanted to create a blog was to share information with my family and friends. This blog post is just that, to share information. I am typing this blog entry from Adrian, Michigan, not Cochabamba. I left Cochabamba on December 19 and arrived into Detroit International the afternoon of December 20. It is hard to believe that two weeks ago today, I was still in Cochabamba. So many wonderful blessings have come my way since I left Cochabamba to come to Adrian.
When I left Honduras, I had been in contact with Sister Durstyne about coming to Adrian for domestic volunteer service opportunities. Sister Durstyne informed me I was welcome to come to Adrian anytime, and she assured me there would be plenty of ways for me to serve. We had many conversations both when I was down in Southern CA and again when I spent time in Northern CA. She talked to me about domestic and international service opportunities. While everything Sister Durstyne mentioned sounded intriguing, I still felt called to serve with the Salesians in Cochabamba, Bolivia. Sister Durstyne and I agreed to remain in contact while I was in Cochabamba serving at the Hogar.
The first weekend of December was full of email conversations with Sister Durstyne again. I was fairly certain at that point I would have to leave Bolivia, and I wanted to start pursuing some domestic service options. Sister Durstyne responded to my emails right away, and it was decided that I would come to Adrian before Christmas. The flight was booked from Cochabamba to Detroit. After all of that was decided, I felt the biggest sense of relief. I was going to be out of Bolivia, but still volunteering.
My last few weeks in Bolivia were awkward, to say the least. Everyone knew I was leaving, but I had about twelve days from when the flight was booked to when I was actually departing. I wanted to remain present for the time I was still at the Hogar. People were not sure what to say to me, and I was not sure how to respond if someone did talk to me. In terms of sightseeing, that was not one of the reasons I went to Bolivia, so there was nothing that I absolutely had to go see before I left the country. I enjoyed the Christmas decorations that were in the Plaza Colon. I spent my last two Thursday day offs walking around the Plaza, looking at the Christmas decorations. I was more interested in seeing certain people, and making sure there were appropriate chances to say good-bye and share some reflections. I did not have those important opportunities when I was leaving Honduras, so I wanted to ensure I could spend time with the girls at the Hogar, the other volunteers, and my friends from Bible Study.
The last week I was in Bolivia was also the Feast of the Immaculate Conception and the Feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe. Both days were commemorated with beautiful Masses and dancing. I am glad I had the opportunity to still be in Bolivia for those important days. One of my friends from Bible Study invited me and the older girls from the Hogar to go on a hike to see the Cristo. We woke up extra early on a Saturday morning to first hike to a Mary statue and then to the Cristo. We were able to take twenty of the older girls on the hike, so I took that opportunity to share some reflections of life in Cochabamba. They all sat in a circle and listened to me intently. Some girls took that opportunity to let me know how I had helped them in certain ways, which was lovely. I was not expecting that at all. The Cristo statue was an appropriate venue for this time of conversation and reflection. I am grateful I had the time to spend with the older girls away from the Hogar. When I was at the Hogar, time was often consumed by the needs of the younger girls, so I cherished time I spent with the older girls.
Because some of the girls at the Hogar have blood relatives to spend Christmas with, we celebrated Christmas at the Hogar on 12/11. The primera casa was decorated beautifully, complete with an elegant nativity set and a Christmas tree with presents! Each girl at the Hogar received an equal number of presents from the hermanas. Some of the presents were practical (bras, school clothes) and others were "fun" (dolls for the younger girls, sports equipment for the older girls). We had a lovely Christmas dinner, complete with dessert. After dinner, we had a bonfire. Remember, seasons are opposite. Some of the girls danced near the bonfire, others got into groups to talk, others started playing games. I spent time surveying the scene, knowing that many girls would soon leave to see their relatives. It was the last time we were all together at the Hogar. The evening was gorgeous, so we stayed outside celebrating for many hours. Finally, it was time to go to bed, as the next morning was a school/work morning. While I was not in Cochabamba for Christmas, I did not miss the celebration.
Hogar and spend time in the city before I left. When it started to rain, I decided it was a good time to head back to the Hogar.
I woke up on 12/19, knowing that later on that night I would get on a plane for the United States. That whole day I felt like I was in the Twilight Zone. A life I thought was meant for me was coming to an end. I truly thought I was called to be a Latin American missionary, but I have accepted that that life is not for me. There are plenty of people from Latin America I can work with here in the United States (even right here in Adrian). Before I left for the airport, the hermanas and girls that had not left to see relatives gathered for the Rosary. After the Rosary, the hermanas had prepared dinner for me, knowing that my flight was an overnight flight. After dinner, Hermana M, Judy and myself left for the airport. The girls gave me some flowers and a shirt (I am wearing the shirt as I type this blog). The airport was thankfully not super crowded for six days before Christmas. Both of my suitcases were overweight, so I had to take things out. I was prepared for that (surprisingly enough), so I had certain things right at the top of the suitcases I could take out. I checked my bags in, paid my baggage fee and my fee to exit the country. Hermana M and Judy waited until I could go through security, which was nice. The migration officers in Santa Cruz gave me some hassle about not having the correct Visa (duh, I know I don't have the right Visa!), but they let me through. I was the second to last person to get on the plane in Santa Cruz, but I made it. I literally had the equivalent of fourteen cents in Bolivian currency, and I had to leave my Bolivian cell phone in Cochabamba, so I do not know what I would have done if I had missed the plane. But I made the plane, so off we went to Miami, the United States.
Every single time I have traveled internationally before Bolivia, I always felt this sense of dread at being back in the United States. I was always grateful that I was safe, but there was a sense of "what's next on the agenda" after the initial gratefulness of arriving safely. Not this time. As soon as we landed in Miami (before I had even gone through Customs), I felt the biggest sense of peace and contentment I had felt in a long time. I had not even arrived at my final destination yet. I was close enough, and this time, I did not want to know when I was going to leave the country next. It won't be anytime soon, that's for sure. Home right now is relative, but it will be somewhere here in the United States.
I had a rather long layover in Miami, but instead of waiting at the airport, a friend who lives in Miami picked me up from the airport and took me back to her house. We had breakfast, and I was able to lay down for a bit. That was so much nicer than sitting at the airport for hours and hours. She dropped me back off at the airport in time for me to catch the plane to Detroit. When I arrived in Detroit, all of my bags had made it safely and were waiting for me at baggage claim. Sister Durstyne picked me up, and we were off to Adrian. Adrian is about sixty miles south of Detroit. The drive was smooth, and I was able to see some more Christmas decorations. Needless to say, the weather in Detroit was slightly colder than the weather I said good-bye to when I left Bolivia. From summer to winter, in a matter of hours.
Since arriving in Adrian, I have already experienced a myriad of things. I have met the most wonderfully caring people, people that are excited to hear my tales of life in Latin America. There are many opportunities for me to serve, including various literacy centers in Adrian, Detroit and Chicago. Christmas in Adrian was my first Christmas outside of not only California, but Claremont. We had Mass on Christmas Eve and then again on Christmas morning. After Mass on Christmas morning, we had a feast. The tables were decorated, there was wine and an abundance of food. After dinner, we had dessert. Later on that evening, there was a gathering for people who were in the area, but did not have family to see. I was not alone on Christmas, not even close. In fact, I never even had time to feel sad that I was not in California. I certainly do not want to spend every Christmas away from California, but Christmas 2011 was not shabby at all. I already have fond memories of Adrian because of the Christmas celebrations. The true meaning of Christmas was certainly evident in the day's events.
I spent three days in Chicago catching up with a friend from Honduras. Chicago is only four hours from Adrian. I experienced the Megabus, which is the Ritz Carlton of bus travel. I took the bus from Chicago to Ann Arbor, and arrived in Adrian in time to celebrate New Year's Eve. When I think about where I was last year on New Year's Eve, this New Year's Eve was radically different. I am in a much better place, physically, spiritually, emotionally, mentally. I do not even talk to the person who invited me to a New Year's Eve party last year, and it's better off that way. The people who I rang in 2012 with are healthier for me in every way. I was so "sure"of life at the beginning of 2011, and now I do not know my path. Slowly but surely, the path will reveal itself, and I need to be open to the subtle signs.
I do think about Bolivia, but I do not want to go back, not anytime soon. And if I do go back, it would be on a tourist visa, not to live. My home is the United States now. I am not certain which state in he United States, but thankfully there are fifty of them. Had I not been open to living in a different part of the United States than California, I never would have been able to visit Adrian. Adrian can possibly lead me to an exciting new chapter in life. We have had some snow, which is a novelty for me. There are people here who want/need to learn English, and I can help with that. Adrian is a small town, but there is no shortage of activity and opportunity for growth. I am happy to be here, the happiest I have been in years. I do not plan to leave the country anytime soon. I need to learn more about the United States.
2011 was a defining year in my life. I do not regret anything I did or experienced during the year, but am grateful the year ended with me returning to the United States to live in Michigan with my new friends.
Angela
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
From Saints to Scripture Study
The end of October brought Halloween, but for the second year in a row I found myself in a country that does not celebrate Halloween. However, two days later was All Souls Day, and for the second year in a row, I found myself in a country that does indeed celebrate All Souls Day to the fullest extent. All Souls Day was a holiday for Cochabamba, so the girls did not go to school that day. Instead, we got to sleep in a little and then we went to Mass. After Mass, we went to the cemetery in Sacaba, a short walk from the Hogar. The cemetery was packed with family members visiting their deceased loved ones. The flower vendors outside the cemetery were receiving good business that day, to say the least. When we walked in the cemetery, I felt like I had left Bolivia for a second. The cemetery had perfectly manicured lawns, and there was a huge fountain in the middle of the cemetery with plants all around it. Once we had walked around the cemetery for a bit, we sat down under a large tree to pray the Rosary. After the Rosary, it was time to leave to go back to the Hogar for lunch. Because it was a special day, some of the older girls prepared a generous lunch for everyone at the Hogar. After lunch, we were basically free for the rest of the day day. All Souls Day fell on a Wednesday, which would normally be a Bible Study day, but all church activities outside of the Masses were canceled for All Souls Day festivities.
The first weekend of November was my retreat with my Bible Study. It was held at a house for missionaries in Cochabamba. Even though the house wasn't far from where I live, I still felt like I got away for the weekend. I was with different people and I was not constantly surrounded for 58 girls wanting my attention. The retreat started with introductions and a little bit of our life story. Mind you, this is all in Spanish, so while I would have loved to have shared more details, I had to limit myself to the words I know in Spanish. People got my intentions though. They are very patient with my Spanish. After the introductions, we had our first talk, which was on Spiritual Direction. The involved not only talking about people that can spiritually direct us, but listening to the Holy Spirit more (something I am doing a lot of these days). After the talk, we had time for reflection before the next talk. Later on that night, we went to Mass and received a special blessing from the priest. After Mass, we went back to the missionary house for dinner. It was so glorious to sit at a table with different people and share in conversation and not feel like every word I said was being judged. The next morning, I went back to the missionary house for breakfast and the next round of talks. We had a special prayer outside in the garden before going to Sunday Mass. After Mass, we shared another meal together and then had time for reflection on the weekend. I feel so fortunate to now have participated in a retreat in both Honduras and Bolivia, all in Spanish. I appreciate the time and effort the group put into making the retreat happen because it gave me a chance to reflect, something that is not easy to do while working at the Hogar. Even when I sit in the chapel, it is never quiet at the Hogar, and I needed quiet.
My 7th week in Bolivia was also Confirmation preparation week. Ten girls from the Hogar were preparing to make their Confirmations, so there were many meetings that week. I was asked to accompany the girls to one meeting that week, which meant I got to act as a madrina (godmother) for the evening. The girls kept looking back at me, smiling, glad that someone was there to represent them. The following Sunday, we had the Confirmation ceremony. After the ceremony, some of the girls' families came back to the Hogar for lunch. This was similar to when the some of the younger girls made their First Holy Communion my first weekend in Bolivia. Everyone ate in the primera casa (first house), and then there was dancing. After the lunch and some dancing, the girls who had just made their Confirmations received a treat by receiving permission to go to downtown Cochabamba with some friends and family members. Anytime the girls get to leave like that, it is a big deal. I know that meant a lot to the girls, not to have to spend all day at the Hogar with the younger girls. After all, the Church now recognized them as adults, so I am glad the hermanas could recognize that as well. The rest of us stayed at the Hogar and cleaned up from the party, which included a ton of balloons and streamers.
Because Thanksgiving was coming up, Judy and myself received permission to travel down the mountain to see the other volunteers. We celebrated the Saturday before Thanksgiving because that is when the majority of people could get time off to celebrate. Judy and I originally had looked into flights, but after weighing the cost of flight versus bus, we decided to take the bus. It is about a 7 hour bus ride to Yapacani, which was our first stop on our excursion. Marcos Cisneros was the reason for our stop in Yapacani. He is a fellow Salesian Lay Missioner, and he is about 3 months into his second year of service in Bolivia. He showed us around the city in true Yapacani style, bicicleta (bicycle). After riding around the city, we went to a dance performance at one of Salesian schools. Marcos works at several schools in Yapacani, teaching Religion. He grew up in Mexico and is a native Spanish speaker, so he is able to teach in Bolivia. I have not seen a bilingual school in Bolivia. While at the dance recital, I had a taste of one of the least favorite aspects of my Honduran life. I felt a ping ping ping against my head. At first I thought someone was trying to get my attention, and then I looked at the bleacher next to me. Yes, there it was, a flying cockroach. Oh, how I missed thee! And there were more to be found when we got back to our residence for the evening. We turned on the bathroom light and there were (I am not exaggerating) ten fun friends waiting for us in the bathroom. Clearly, no one had used that bathroom in quite some time and the fun friends had taken up residence there. After they all scattered, I thought it was safe to take a shower. I was wrong. I am shampooing my hair and I look down at my leg. There was one. I yelp, hastily shut off the water and call it a short shower, shampoo still in my hair waiting to be rinsed. I would rather have shampoo in my hair than a fun friend on my leg.
The next morning, we were greeted with two more arrivals of the human kind. Amber and Monica had taken the overnight bus from Cochabamba to Yapacani. Amber is a 3rd year volunteer, and Monica is a 2nd year volunteer. Monica and Marcos went through Orientation together. Marcos had woken up early to make sure pancakes and coffee were ready after Monica and Amber's journey. After we had breakfast, we walked to the local Yapacani market to purchase comida (food) for the Thanksgiving celebration. Amber wanted to make a sweet potato soup, and Monica had a green bean recipe that involved garlic. Both sounded great to me, so I went in on the food with the two girls and (believe it or not) helped them cook the dishes. While we were making the two dishes for the next day's celebration, Marcos was making us homemade, authentically prepared down to the sauce, Mexican enchiladas. Technically, it was the weekend before Thanksgiving, but we celebrated in American style by eating our way through Thanksgiving weekend. Later on that night, we were able to sit under the mango trees and look at the stars. Yapacani is a great place for watching stars on a clear night and eat delicious mangoes.
The next morning we got up and had leftover cheese enchiladas and beans for breakfast, which was heavenly. We packed up the food we had made the night before, grabbed out suitcases and headed to the next destination, Montero. In Montero, Judy and I were reunited with four girls from Orientation, Mona, Aubrey, Katie and Marcelle. There were tears. You would have thought it had been four years since we had seen each other instead of four months. Along with the four girls from Orientation, we met many other volunteers. Tom and Laura Kent had offered to host the feast at their home. Tom and Laura are VIDES volunteers who are in Bolivia for two years. They just completed their first year of teaching in Bolivia, and that was also a part of the celebration. We also met volunteers from Italy, Scotland, Ireland and the US that are not affiliated with the Salesians or VIDES, but who volunteer in or around Montero. I met a priest from West Covina, CA. I almost fell out my chair when he told me where he grew up. He now is part of the Stockton Diocese, but his family still lives in West Covina. I met Sister Anna, who we heard so much about during Orientation. Sister Anna, at one time, was a Salesian Lay Missioner like myself. She worked at the Hogar Sagrado Corazon in Montero. During her volunteer year, she not only received the call to become a sister, but to become a sister in Bolivia. During Orientation, she was always lovingly referred to as the volunteer that never left Bolivia. She has now been in Bolivia for ten years, and has no plans to return to the United States, except once every two years to visit family. I enjoyed finally meeting her and putting a face to a name and hearing her story.
Our Thanksgiving celebration was perfect. I have now had two Thanksgivings in Latin America, and both went really well. Tom and Laura cooked the turkey, and everyone else contributed side dishes and desserts. There was beer and wine as well. Better than the food was the conversations with all the volunteers. We played games, listened to music, danced...and then ate some more. We heated up our leftovers for dinner. In true Thanksgiving fashion, we somehow found room for the all the leftover food.
Judy and I were scheduled to leave Montero the next morning after Mass. We went to Mass and came back to our residence to pick up our suitcases. The head hermana came up to us and asked us if we wanted to stay another day. Monica and Amber weren't leaving until Monday morning, so we were eager to have the chance to spend another day with them. Instead of an eight hour bus ride back up the mountain, we returned to Tom and Laura's house for lunch. After lunch, we had the option to go swimming or go to a honey festival. Both were intriguing, but a honey festival in Bolivia sounded slightly more unique. Off we went to the town of Gavena to sample various Bolivian honey products. After the honey festival, we went to a nearby cheese factory in Buena Vista, which turned out to be an incredibly cute town. No one was on hand to give us an actual tour of the cheese factory, but we were able to sample various cheeses from all over Bolivia. After the cheese factory, it was time to go our separate ways. Judy and I needed to head back to Montero for dinner and Amber and Monica were going to spend another night in Yapacani to visit with Marcos. When we returned to Montero, we ran into Aubrey and Mona, which was a nice stroke of luck. Our good-bye the day before had gone by too hastily.
The next morning, Judy and I were set to leave. Once again, we were surprised. There was a blockade preventing our departure. We took advantage of more time away and went to Santa Cruz, the 2nd largest city in Bolivia (Cochabamba is the 3rd largest city). When we arrived in Santa Cruz, we saw the Cathedral and then met up with Sister Anna for lunch. After lunch, we went back to Buena Vista because it proved to a peaceful place. We were sitting at an outdoor cafe having coffee when we ran into a retired couple who had been in the Peace Corps in the 1960s. They retired from their respective jobs in Florida and moved back to a simpler lifestyle. They built a house and now live permanently in Bolivia.
The next morning there was still a blockade, but Judy and I were able to leave to head back up the mountain. In true Hogar fashion, we hit the ground running as soon as we arrived in Cochabamba. The ballet girls had the first of three recitals that evening, so I put my bags down, changed and came back downstairs ready to take the girls to their ballet recital. I had heard the recital music so many times because of all the ballet lessons, so it was nice to see the dances that went along with the music. Some of the girls did not realize I had come back from my Thanksgiving trip, so they were surprised to see me at the recital. It was a nice way to greet some of the girls after having traveled down the mountain.
The last weekend of November was full of activities with my Bible Study. On Saturday, a new church was being dedicated in the nearby town of Esmeralda. This meant there was a parade in the afternoon leading up to the 6 o' clock dedication of the church. The Bishop of Cochabamba presided over the Mass, along with the priest I had met the previous weekend from West Covina. After the Mass, I was invited to have dinner with some of the local residents of Esmeralda. There were fuegos artificiales (fireworks) to celebrate the dedication of the new church, and then a traditional Andean band played music.
On Sunday, I had the opportunity to witness Hermana Patricia, a friend from my Bible Study, make her final vows. After almost ten years of preparation, she was ready to make the lifetime commitment to her religious order. We had Mass at 11, then lunch, and then the fiesta (party) to celebrate her special day. As a member of the Bible Study, I was asked to help perform in a short skit. I asked for a non-speaking part. Even though my Spanish improves cada dia (each day), I still do not want to have to talk in front of a large group of people in Spanish. My Bible Study put on a skit that was similar to the Stone Soup story. My part was to run and get vegetables to put into the soup. I actively participated, but did not speak.
I have recapped some positive events, but there is something else I need to talk about. On Thursday, 11/10, I was robbed. I had been at the American Embassy (Judy and I are working on our Visas), so I had a lot of cash, my CA driver's license, social security card, debit card, and credit card with me. Thankfully, my passport was in another pocket, but everything else was stolen. I should not have had so many important things with me, but I also did not know what I would need at the American Embassy. It can always be worse, right? I could have physically been harmed, and that did not happen.
Now it is the liturgical season of Advent, hard to believe. The girls will get out of school soon for summer vacation (the seasons are opposite here). Some of the girls will go home for summer vacation, and other girls will stay at the Hogar. For some girls, it is either too emotionally or physically dangerous for them to see their families, so they stay with us at the Hogar to pass their summer vacation. Just when I was getting used to the schedule at the Hogar, it is going to change for summer vacation.
Thank you all for taking the time to read my blog. I know this is an eventful time of year for many people.
Angela
Sunday, October 30, 2011
From Lice to Laughter
Hello again. This weekend was my sixth weekend in Bolivia. Many things have already changed, both emotionally and physically for me. As I write this, I am sitting in the same spot as I wrote my last blog post, my bed. I have a beautiful view of the mountains from my bedroom, something I greatly appreciate. I grew up at the base of mountains, so it is a welcoming site. It is a rainy spring day outside, so rainy that we couldn´t go to the park today (something I always look forward to doing). The seasons are opposite here, so we are in the second month of spring. The weather in Cochabamba (at least thus far) has been similar to Southern CA. It has been hot certain days, but not the humid hot I experienced in Honduras. We have had been told that the rainiest months are January and February, which will be summer here. We may even get some snow on the local mountains.
What has happened since my last blog post? I have had lice, turned 31, fallen while walking in the city, found a good running path...and oh yea, made some connections with awesome Bolivian girls.
My first weekend in Bolivia happened to be the last weekend for Angela Rossi, the previous Salesian Lay Missioner. We hit the ground running when we arrived, literally. Judy and I got picked up from the airport and were greeted with hugs and flowers from some of the girls from the Hogar. We rode back to the Hogar in the back of the pickup truck. It was actually a nice welcome, riding in the back of a pickup truck again. Once at the Hogar, we were shown our rooms. We put our luggage down and immediately went back into the city. Angela only had two days to show us the ropes, so we went with her to take some of the girls to ballet. The next day, we had Mass at 7 am. The last Saturday of each month a priest comes to the Hogar to say Mass for the girls, hermanas and volunteers. That afternoon was the going away lunch for Angela, and in a way, the welcoming lunch for Judy and myself. That evening, all 58 girls at the Hogar performed various dances in honor of Angela's 14 months of service at the Hogar. That was a nice introduction to Bolivian culture. They even did a dance that's specific to Cochabamba. The next day was First Communion Sunday. Some of the girls' families were able to travel to the Hogar for the First Communion Mass and lunch. After the lunch, it was time to say good-bye to Angela Rossi and her traveling companion, Malia (another SLM). They both had completed their time in Bolivia, and were off to see Chile for three weeks before returning back to the United States. In honor of Angela Rossi's last day in Cochabamba, the electricity went out. Incidentally, the electricity has not gone out again since that day, but I have my flashlight at the ready for the next power outage.
Highlights of my first week in Bolivia: Semana Blanca. The girls' First Communion was on my first Sunday here. Every day that week they were invited to an evening Mass in their First Communion clothes. I had the opportunity to accompany them on the Monday of that week. That gave me a chance to have some conversations with the girls who had just made their First Communions. It made me feel nice that I got to accompany them one evening. They don't live near their families, but it's important to have someone support you when you have just made this important Sacrament.
The next weekend was much quieter than our first weekend. There was no going away party, no big lunch for First Communions. We were introduced to doing chores with the girls on Saturday mornings. After chores, it was discovered that Judy and myself both had lice. I had gone 30 years without ever having lice, but after my first full week in Bolivia, I had lice. Anna, the German volunteer at the Hogar, had some potent lice shampoo. We had to leave it in our hair for about 45 minutes before rinsing it out. I have to admit, I was a little sad at that point. I have since learned that having lice is a normal part of living here. It's a constant cycle. I personally have not had lice again, but some girls seem to have it every week. They are in the bedsheets, towels, combs. Some of the girls have received new bedsheets, and that has helped. Thankfully, there are donations that come into the Hogar for such things. The next day, Monica came to visit us. Monica spent 11 months in the Hogar and signed up for a second year in Cochabamba, but was placed in a different Hogar. It was nice to meet and talk with her.
Highlights of my second week in Bolivia: Going to Mass on the Feast Day of Saint Francis of Assisi. It was last minute, as many things are in Cochabamba. I was walking through the door after returning back to the Hogar with my group of ballet dancers. Some of the older girls were leaving for the Feast Day Mass and asked me if I wanted to go. I said yes and found myself in the back of the pickup truck again. We went to a different church than we normally go to. Both the Mass and the church were beautiful.
The next weekend was my birthday weekend. My birthday fell on a Saturday, so I got to sleep in a little bit. Even though it wasn't the last Saturday of the month, we had Mass. That was a nice start to my birthday. Plus, how many people can say within the first hour of waking up on your birthday you have over 50 people telling you Happy Birthday? Maybe throughout the day you would have that many people send you birthday greetings, but usually not within the first hour of waking up. After Mass we had breakfast. I went to clean my breakfast plates after eating and discovered a wonderful birthday present. The water had been shut off. That meant that instead of doing the normal bathing of the girls in the showers upstairs, we did it outside with cold water. When the water gets shut off at the Hogar, that means there is no water inside the building, but there is still water outside. After we bathed the girls outside, it was time for me to get ready for my lunch with my friend from Bible Study. I got to experience a nice bucket shower, something I hadn't done since Honduras. Gonzalo came to pick up Judy and myself for a lunch on the town. After lunch, we walked around the city for a while and came across a church with a wedding taking place. We waited outside to catch a glimpse of the happy couple as they came out of the church. We dropped Judy back off at the Hogar, and then Gonzalo and myself went to a concert at a local church. It was a variety of performers, some of them barely old enough to hold their instruments. The concert was a unique experience. After the concert, I thought my birthday was over. Gonzalo walked me back to the Hogar. I planned to go upstairs and read and then go to bed. One of the older girls came running to greet me. She said something had arrived for me at the Hogar while I was at the concert. She came walking towards me with my package. It turns out, my mom had gone online to find a florist in Cochabamba. My mom sent flowers, a balloon and a card to the Hogar. The older girl was all smiles when she handed it to me. She could tell it was something important. I was shocked. I had not expected that at all. I really thought my birthday was over at that point. I changed into my pajamas. Soon thereafter, I head a knock on my door. I opened the door and there was one of the girls. All the lights had been turned off. She told me to come downstairs. As I was walking down the stairs, the girls started singing Happy Birthday to me, first in English then in Spanish. After the song, they all lined up to give me a birthday hug. Then, they gave me my present, which were two Bolivian shirts, one purple and one white. I was so touched. Also, Anna and Judy made a cake for me while I was at the concert. Even though I was away from my family, it was a wonderful birthday. I remember walking back up the stairs knowing full well that my birthday will be one of my great memories. The next day, to continue with the birthday celebrations, we took the girls to the Jardin Botanical.
Highlights of my third week in Bolivia: The Jardin Botanical was a nice treat. The Jardin Botanical is a short bus ride from the Hogar. Not every girl could come that particular day, so I know we will be back in upcoming weeks. Going to the Jardin Botanical gave us a chance to do our normal Sunday routine, but in a different location. We played card games with the girls, we played various sports, we talked, but all the while, surrounded by the many plants and flowers the Jardin Botanical has to offer visitors.
The next weekend we had water again! This helped with the Saturday morning chores and bathing the girls. We were expecting some visitors from Germany, so the chores were done extra well this day. This weekend gave me an opportunity to really sit down with some of the older girls for a few hours and talk with them. We talked about boys, of course. Just because these girls are in an orphanage does not mean they do not ever encounter boys. Just like when I went to an all girls high school, the girls have opportunities to interact with boys. I got to hear about who is “going out.” Actually, some of the oldest girls (18 and up) are allowed to date. I was glad to hear that. Both Saturday and Sunday gave me a chance to really interact with some of the older girls. I feel like I made some connections that weekend.
Highlights of fourth week in Bolivia: Meeting the Germans that came to visit for two weeks. They have been sponsoring one of the girls, Mercedes, for eight years now. This was the first opportunity they had to come and visit Bolivia. They did many projects around the orphanage, including installing new windows in the entire orphanage. This was a grand project, indeed. It was nice to get to know them because it gave me a better picture of the girls' lives. Some of the girls have no contact with their biological parents (not all, only some), so the people that sponsor them are important adults in their lives.
The next weekend the Germans took us out on the town. We did our regular Saturday morning duties of chores and bathing the girls. After our duties were completed, we were off to downtown Cochabamba. We showed the Germans some of our favorite places to eat and shop downtown, including the Cafe Paris and a traditional Mexican restaurant. We visited the Concha, which is South America's largest outdoor shopping area. We were able to see one of Anna's friends, Enzo, play in a volleyball tournament. The next day, the Germans made a traditional German apple dessert, which was excellent.
Highlights of my fifth week in Bolivia: Talking with my friend Colleen on Skype. After I talked with her, I had a different perspective on my time here. It's easy to say this, and quite another thing to live it. It's not so important as to the exact amount of time I spend here, it's important on how I spend my time while I am here. The Germans were here two weeks, but they definitely made an impact on these girls, and on the volunteers. I can be here for one full year, but if I am not embracing different opportunities to interact with the girls and people in my community, then it won't matter how long I am here.
I have talked a lot about the weekends, so here is a snapshot of what Monday-Friday looks like at the Hogar. I wake up and come downstairs around 6:30 am. From 6:30-7:30, the girls get ready for school, eat breakfast and do their morning chores (the only day the girls don't do chores is Sunday). At 7:30, the girls line up for prayer. After prayer, they are off to school. I usually eat breakfast at this time, though I have often had a piece of fruit or something while I am walking around making sure the girls are doing what they are supposed to be doing. My duties have changed already in the time that I have been here. Previously, after breakfast, I was working with the three kinder girls. Two weeks ago, that changed (thankfully!) Now, I am working with some of the older girls that go to school in the afternoons. We not only work on English, but also on History and other Social Sciences. Sorry girls, I can't help you with the Algebra. I barely got through it myself, and I certainly can't explain it in Spanish. I work with the girls for about 3 hours. Then, I go upstairs to get the three kinder girls ready for school. This involves showering them, putting on their uniform and doing their hair. After this is done, it is time for lunch. After lunch, I usually have a little time to myself. I can check my email at this time, run, read, do laundry, take a nap. At 1:45, we find the three kinder girls to ensure they have everything they need for school (backpack, big notebook, pencils). At 2, we walk the three kinder girls to school. Depending on when we get back from dropping the three kinder girls off to school, I have another pocket of free time. At 3 pm., the older girls that went to school in the morning have returned. We have homework time from 3-6. At 6 pm., we gather in the chapel to say the Rosary together. At 7, we have dinner. After dinner, we go back upstairs to put the three kinder girls to bed. After they are in bed, I am off duty. We are hoping that once the three kinder girls go to first grade, our duties can technically end after the Rosary which would be lovely. That means, we would be off duty around 7, instead of 8:30 pm. I think it would make a huge difference. The day will still be longer than the traditional 8 or 9 hour workday, but the responsibility of putting the three kinder girls to bed is just a bit much. Vamos a ver.
Two days a week, I take a group of ballet dancers to their class in the city. This means, I get free time while they are in ballet class. I have discovered a lovely Italian cafe, where I sit and have a fabulous cup of coffee to wait for the girls' class to end. I have my ballet classes on Tuesdays and Fridays. On Wednesdays, I have my Bible Study. I leave at 6:30 for Mass and then have my Study from 7:30-9. We have a retreat soon, which is will give me an opportunity to get to know the people in my Bible Study on a different level. Thursdays are my day off. Sundays we have Mass at 9:30 am.
I have found that I almost prefer Monday-Friday to the weekends. There is a structure to Monday-Friday that I can appreciate. Yes, the days are long and full of activities, but I have found a certain rhythm to the days. Every weekend here has been a little bit different. In a way, that's a good thing. We have had some nice surprises, like the day the Germans wanted to take us out in the city. On the other hand, it's difficult to be in a situation like this not knowing what to expect. I basically know what is expected of me Monday-Friday, but I am learning what the sisters want from me on the weekends. Is it OK to take a little free time for myself after the girls finish their chores? Or am I expected to entertain these girls all the time? That's what we are trying to figure out, and we have not received a clear answer. Between the three of us, there is always someone with the girls, and we often find ourselves doing similar activities with them. As time progresses, I know a certain schedule will develop for all the days of the week.
While this experience is overall much more positive than Honduras, there have been problems. No volunteer experience is perfect. If I could combine elements of my Honduran experience (like having my own house) with this experience, I would. Obviously, that's not possible. Certain things will not change the entire time I am here. It is up to me to accept the situation as it is, rather than spending my time here complaining about something. That's not only something that will be helpful to my life in Bolivia, but to my life after Bolivia. Again, it's easier to say these things than to actually do them. But if I can learn this lesson at 31, that's a good thing. Living in community is not easy, but a vital part of this experience. My basic personality is not going to change, but there are small things I can do on a daily basis to be a better community member.
Bottom line, I am not upset that I made this decision to come to Bolivia. I already know I will be stronger person because of it. I don't think I want to be an overseas missionary for the rest of my life, but that I can still have a missionary spirit when I return back to the United States. That is something Just Faith taught me. We don't have to live and work in rural Honduras or a Bolivian orphanage to be a missionary. However, I needed to completely get out of my comfort zone, and completely our of my comfort zone I am! Waking up every day to 58 girls literally outside of my bedroom door is not something I ever thought I would experience. Working where you live is not easy. There are advantages of course. I never have to worry about being late for work because of traffic, but at the end of the day, even when I am in my room, I can still here the girls working on homework or whatever it is they are doing. You never shut off entirely. To a certain extent, I always feel like I am on duty with the girls. You could run yourself ragged working with the girls, and I need to know my limits. There are times where the best thing I can do for the girls is to go upstairs to read a book, refreshing my mind and body.
From lice to laughter...I have laughed many times since I have been here, and I´m talking truly laughing. I never allowed myself to laugh in Honduras, which was a big part of my problem. It´s hard living and working in the Hogar. The work with the girls is demanding, but that does not mean some of it can´t be fun. Showering kinder girls isn´t what I would call fun exactly, but dancing with them when there is music playing is fun. Sometimes it´s just a moment of laughter, but that moment can sustain me for a long time. On the other side of the coin, there will be moments where I do not feel like laughing, and I need to allow myself to experience those emotions too.
Thank you for for reading this blog. I appreciate every kind word, thought and prayer sent my way.
La Paz de Cristo,
Angela
Saturday, October 1, 2011
From Claremont to Cochabamba
Thank you for reading my blog. I have to admit, I am doing this just as much for myself as for all of you. I did not keep a blog in Honduras, and it is something I wish I had done. I am going to keep a journal as well, but this is a good way for me to get my thoughts out too. I can go back and read my posts when I get home (home, a foreign concept at this point). I never thought I would be a blogger, but I also never thought I would be living in a Bolivian orphanage taking care of Bolivian children.
No one just decides to become an overseas missioner. The process of getting here is lengthy, so I won't explain every detail, but it all started when a good friend of mine suggested I teach Confirmation. She waited until she knew I was ready to delve deeper into my faith (which is why she was so good at her job). I started teaching Confirmation and that led me to volunteer with the youth group at my parish in Claremont. From there, I started going on retreats, helping out with the midweek Bible Study. Through my volunteer work, I was invited to be a pilgrim in Turkey and attend World Youth Day in Sydney, Australia. In addition to Turkey and Australia, I have been to Europe twice, one time I went to mainland Europe and the other time I went to the United Kingdom. You would think all of this traveling would be sufficient, right? I thought so too, at first, but as soon as I would come home I would have a longing for something else. I wasn't quite sure what that was, but the longing was constant, to the point where I was waking up in the middle of the night thinking about it.
In 2008, I was invited to be a Just Faith participant. I had no idea what Just Faith would do to me. Just Faith has changed my life forever, no exaggerating. Just Faith is a thirty week social justice study, where I learned about Catholic social teaching and people such as Dorothy Day and Thomas Merton. While in Just Faith, we talked about what is really means to be a missioner. Does it involve leaving your country to live in rural Honduras or a Bolivian orphanage? Of course not. You can be a missioner without leaving your own city. I used those thirty weeks of Just Faith as discernment for what being a missioner meant to me. For me, at this point in my life, it does mean leaving the United States and moving overseas. The longing was there for a long time, but it was Just Faith that brought that longing to the surface.
In between all of my volunteer work at my parish in Claremont and Just Faith, I have been fortunate to know both domestic and overseas missioners. When I say this has been a process, I mean it. For as long as I can remember, I have known people that have done mission work, both religious and lay people. Through their stories, I began to get ideas of what it would really be like to live overseas. I had plenty of time to let this concept sink into my head before I actually started applying.
My first thought was to go into the Peace Corps. After a lengthy application process, I was accepted into the Peace Corps (no easy feat by the way). My gut instinct was telling me I belonged in Latin America, but at that time my Spanish wasn't good enough. The Peace Corps wanted to put me in Eastern Europe, a place I would like to visit one day, but I did not feel called to live there for 27 months (the standard Peace Corps commitment). I went back to the drawing board, so to speak. I came across a website called Catholic Network Volunteer Service. It hit me like a ton of bricks that, duh! I needed to be with a Catholic community. How could I leave my country for an extended amount of time and not be able to celebrate my faith? Thank goodness that website exists.
After searching the website, I came across the organization I was with in Honduras. While the experience in Honduras was not what I thought it would be at all, I absolutely do not regret it. In fact, as I type this blog, there is a pain in my heart for Honduras. Even though I did not like my job in Honduras (which turned out to be quite problematic for all involved), there were certain aspects of my time in Honduras that I absolutely loved. I know that is hard to believe given how many times I cried while in Honduras, but not everything was awful. There was an unconventional beauty to the city. It was in Honduras that I truly learned how to live in community. My roommates should receive a medal for how patient they were with me. It was in Honduras that I started running, something I have kept up with very nicely. It was in Honduras that I really started speaking Spanish. I had a decent understanding of Spanish before I left for Honduras (there are one or two Spanish speakers in CA). But prior to Honduras, I had never had a lengthy conversation with someone in Spanish. By the end of my service in Honduras, I was praying in Spanish. I would conjugate verbs in my head while running. I had dreams in Spanish. I read a book of poetry in Spanish. I could understand the homilies better at Mass. More importantly than any of that, though, I listened to God. He told me it was time to come home in March, which was heartbreaking. It was the best decision at the time, but not an easy one to make. In fact, the decision was pretty much made for me, I just picked the exact day I would leave. Coming home from Honduras left me with a huge pain in my heart, one that still exists. I don't know when it will go away, but I can close my eyes and see the house I lived in and see the school and the church. Again, that may be hard for some people to believe given how miserable I was, especially at the end, but I had never wanted anything so badly in my life. Before I could blink my eyes, I was at the Teguc airport with my luggage feeling completely defeated and lost in life. I didn't belong in Honduras anymore, but I didn't belong in California either. It was a terrible feeling, one I hope to never experience again. I learned the meaning of man without a country.
Thankfully, ten days after I came home from Honduras, were Youth Day and the Los Angeles Religious Education Congress. Congress, like Just Faith, has been instrumental in forming my faith. It is the only thing I can see myself coming home for my year in Bolivia, but flights are too expensive so it probably won't happen. However, if some airline happens to run a great deal for a round trip flight from Cochabamba to LA, I'm at Youth Day and Congress in 2012! I'll keep checking for a good deal on flights.
As I said, Congress was shortly after I arrived home from Honduras, thanks be to God. It was the best possible place for me to be. Seriously, I can't imagine a better way to try and heal from the pain of leaving Honduras. There is so much stimulation at Congress; a person can't dwell on anything for too long, at least for the weekend. After Congress, I had a renewed sense of purpose in life. It wasn't like a magic wand had been waved and all of a sudden I was healed from Honduras, but Congress gave me the strength to put myself back out there, so to speak. I knew I would not be a good employee to anyone, so I lived off my savings while looking for the next volunteer assignment.
I should mention that my cousins took me into their apartment at this crucial time. I remember writing on Regina's Facebook as I was getting ready to leave Honduras that I was a five foot ball of tears. Who wants that in their house? But they took me in, no questions asked. And I was indeed a five foot ball of tears some days. Thankfully, baseball season was right around the corner, a welcome distraction to my pondering. I would sit and listen to VIN and read about various volunteer organizations. A tiny bit of light was peeping through the darkness that enveloped me when I came home from Honduras.
I went to Colorado for a few days to visit some good friends who live in Fort Collins. I had never been to Colorado before, so it was a new adventure. While talking with my friend in Colorado, it became absolutely evident that I needed to go back out there and try to volunteer again. My friend lived in CA for two years, and we met through an online group. The group hiked, so that's how we got to know each other. While we would hike, she would talk to me about her upcoming wedding, and I would talk about my desire to volunteer abroad. Going to Colorado was such a relief because I knew when I got home I wanted to hit the ground running on my volunteer applications.
Hit the ground running I did. I had received a book from Congress that lists various Catholic volunteer assignments. I started going through the book and began applying to organizations that had openings in Latin America. After Honduras, I knew I wanted to keep up with the Spanish. I worked too hard to learn it, and it is such a relief to be able to enter a country already knowing the language. I can make connections with people right away, rather than months and months into my volunteer assignment. This is how I came across the Salesian Lay Missioners, the group I am serving with in Bolivia.
Everything fell into place. I had two phone interviews, and after the second phone interview I was invited to attend a discernment weekend. There had been a discernment weekend in Berkeley in March, which obviously would have made the most sense for me to attend geographically. But I missed that one, so I got to make a whirlwind trip to South Orange, New Jersey in June. Everything happens for a reason. If I had not gone to the South Orange, New Jersey discernment weekend, I would not have met Judy (who is my partner in crime in Bolivia). We clicked right away, and the Sunday morning of the discernment weekend she just came right up to me and asked if we could serve together in Bolivia. Of course, that made me happy, that someone wanted to serve with me.
I came home from South Orange, New Jersey with a lot of thinking to do. I had to discern if serving a year in South America was the right decision for me. Even though the discernment weekend went well, no decision could be made by any party quite yet. So here I was, trying to discern if serving in South America would be the best thing to do at this point in my life, and I actually got to go to South America to do just that. To backtrack a little, when I went to Congress in March, I saw an advertisement for scholarships to Peru for an immersion experience with the Columbans. Having just come back from Honduras with my newfound Spanish abilities, I applied for the scholarship. There were three scholarships available for much more than three applicants, but I ended up receiving one of the scholarships. I came home from South Orange, New Jersey late on a Sunday night and left for Peru the following Friday.
Peru confirmed what I was pretty sure of, but couldn't verbalize during the discernment weekend with great clarity. The two weeks in Peru went wonderfully, so I said yes to the invitation to attend the month long Salesain Lay Missioner Orientation in New York.
After officially being accepted with the Salesain Lay Missioners, I booked my round trip ticket from LA to NY for Orientation. The Salesian offices are in New Rochelle, New York, a train ride away from Manhattan. The first Orientation stop was in Ossining, New York. Ossining was the site for our MISO training (Maryknoll International Service Orientation). After Ossining, we were off to Port Chester to work at two summer day camps. After Port Chester, I was off to Stony Point for a weeklong retreat. But I was not about to travel all the way to NY without going into Manhattan, something I was able to do several times during the month I was East. Andy and I had been in Manhattan when all the lights went out on the Eastern Seaboard (an experience in and of itself). Even though I had been to NYC before, it was still exciting to spend some time in Manhattan. Between the Orientation and my time in Manhattan, I was exhausted but filled with excitement for Bolivia. I met incredible people during my Orientation. Even though we are in different countries now, we are still in each other's hearts. Orientation was an intense experience, one that prepared me well for Bolivia. I appreciate any organization that has you go through an Orientation.
When I turned on my computer tonight, I thought I would delve into my life at the Hogar. But I would like to be here more time before I start sharing reflections on how I feel about Bolivia, the girls, the culture, the Hogar and my role here. I arrived safely on the afternoon of 9/23, after spending one day in Miami. My first week in Bolivia has been spent trying to learn the schedule and how to do laundry by hand without completely destroying your clothes. I can say that it is already not at all what I pictured, but that's not a bad thing in the least.
While I don't want to talk about the Hogar quite yet, I will share one story. I walk the three kinder girls to school every afternoon. One afternoon this week it started raining (it is spring in Bolivia). I had done laundry that morning, so my clothes were outside drying. I thought I would have to run out and bring everything in as soon as I got back to the Hogar. To my joy, the girls did it for me. Instead of running out to get their own clothes of the line, they ran out to get mine. Not only did they do get my clothes off the line, they hung up my clothes inside instead of leaving them in a wet heap. They could have saved their own clothes, but they saved my clothes instead. Entonces, me voy.
Gracias por leer mis pensamientos. Es importante y necesario para mí a compartir mi vida aquí con Ustedes.
Paz,
Ángela Marie
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